So I wanted to get out and stay out. I really did. I wanted at least to have the summer off. But stuff keeps happening and I can’t resist. Jerry Yang and Carl Icahn and Steve Ballmer continue doing their frigtarded three-way monkey dance. It’s getting to be like one of those Ricky Gervais bits in the original Office (the funny one) where he lets the scene go on too long and it goes from being funny to being painful … and he still won’t stop. He makes you watch. It’s terrible but you can’t look away. And, if you’re me, you can’t help rushing to the computer to make fun of it. So thanks a lot, Ballmer-Icahn-Yang, for not letting me getting any rest. Just when I thought I was out, you pull me back in. Bastards!
Plus look at the ridiculous shit happening in the rest of the Valley. Sarah Lacy has hired a personal assistant. Sweet holy Jesus. What’s next? A personal chef? Anyway, I cannot imagine what kind of person would sign up to be Sarah Lacy’s Personal Assistant (SLPA). All I know is that, SLPA, whoever you are, you must start blogging. Now. For some reason I imagine SLPA is a woman — probably artsy, just out of Oberlin and moved to the Valley with a degree in creative writing and a bad dose of low self-esteem. SLPA, whoever you are, if you don’t want to keep a blog, then please get in touch with us and we’ll do it for you. Okay? I promise not to edit or embellish too much. Well, maybe a little. Also, Sarah Lacy, if you need a cabana boy, I’m available.
Meanwhile, for a glimpse into the future of Sarah Lacy’s life, see this: