PanderDaily is funded by the very VCs whose startups it aims to cover. What could possibly go wrong?

Here’s my new business plan: I will get Google, Samsung, HTC and Motorola to fund my Android blog. I know it seems like a glaring conflict of interest, but is it really? I mean, really? Okay, it really is a conflict of interest. It really, really is. It’s disgusting, actually. But you know what? It sure beats trying to make money by selling ads. These days the cool kids in the Valley hackery have moved beyond mere “journalism” and instead are all about finding ways to “monetize influence.” That seems to be the strategy for Sarah Lacy’s new blog, PandoDaily, a publication funded by the very same VCs whose startups she aims to “cover.” From now on, if you’re a startup company, you won’t need to go hire PR people to go pitch those nasty hacks — because your investors will just get you covered by that sexy blog that they also happen to own. And if some other nasty publication starts writing critical things about you, well, your VCs have a pal in their pocket who can bash away on your behalf. This all makes perfect sense.

Seriously, if anyone reading this knows Andy Rubin, call me up. Half million each is nothing for Google, Samsung, HTC and Motorola, and a very small price to pay to have an influential friend in the press. Look at it like a kind of insurance. Or a protection racket, as I believe it is called in some quarters. Pay up, and you get “most favored nation” status on our blog. Nothing icky about that, am I right? Next up: The Windows Phone blog, funded by Microsoft and its hardware partners. After that? Every vertical you can possibly imagine, funded by the main companies in those verticals. Potential investors, please get in touch. My email address is posted here.

BTW, if you think this is not what every investor in PanderDaily (and CrunchFund, for that matter) was thinking when they wrote their checks, I have some very nice real estate in Florida that I’d like to talk to you about. Or, better yet, a new blog. Huge returns, guaranteed! Because everyone knows blogs are huge money makers. Why else would all the hot VCs in the Valley be investing in one?