It’s official: Apple will announce one new iPhone, or possibly several; they will be bigger than iPhone 4, or smaller, or about the same size; and will be radically redesigned, or will look pretty much like iPhone 4

The magic happens Oct. 4 on the Apple campus in Cupertino. Sources say the model(s) will be called iPhone 4S or iPhone 4 Plus but definitely there’s also an iPhone 5, although Apple might introduce all of them, and the new ones will boast a radical new look (photo above) and will look nothing like the iPhone 4 unless they look exactly like the iPhone 4, in which case they will. The new iPhone(s) will boast a faster A5 processor from the iPad 2, or maybe a new A6 processor, or maybe the same A4 processor as in the iPhone 4, along with an 8-megapixel camera but possibly just a 5-megapixel camera or maybe a 10-megapixel camera and a full 1 gigabyte of RAM although possibly more or possibly less, not to mention a pico projector that may or may not be included in this year’s new model along with a curved glass display that definitely will be featured of this phone unless it isn’t.

Tim Cook will do the keynote, but Steve Jobs might make a surprise appearance, or he might not. Likewise for Apple board member Al Gore who may or may not attend the event and might have given away a clue when he said last week that Apple was introducing “new phones” (plural) in October or maybe he was just jet-lagged and he meant they’ll be selling millions of phones or maybe he actually said “phone” (singular) but someone misheard him. Apple might also be announcing new carriers for iPhone(s) including possibly T-Mobile but then again maybe not and also on Sprint which will also offer unlimited data plans but again, maybe not as well as China Telecom which has 3 billion subscribers or maybe not that many.The new iPhone(s) will be so-called “world phones,” meaning they support both GSM and CDMA, or they might not be, and they will not support LTE 4G, unless they do, in which case they might. Support for NFC will not happen in iPhone 5, unless it does.

Also, Apple might bend the laws of time and space and ship the iPhone 5 in September, before the product is even announced, or it may just start accepting pre-orders for iPhone 5 on Sept. 30, but probably not.

Finally: the iPhone 6 will ship in the first half of 2012, unless it doesn’t, but there’s already a blog devoted to it which reports the device will have curved glass, wireless inductive charging, and a larger screen with a new form factor, but possibly something else altogether.

Okay. So that settles it. Back to work.