Entire staff of TechCrunch now threatening to commit mass suicide unless Michael Arrington gets his way, on everything, forever

Entire staff of TechCrunch now threatening to commit mass suicide unless Michael Arrington gets his way, on everything, forever


That is the headline I’ve been waiting to see. But I got tired of waiting so I figured I would just write it myself.

Memo to TC staffers: You sold your startup to a big, stupid corporation. You were very happy to take the money. But the way these things work is that when you take money from a big, stupid corporation, you have to do what the idiots inside the big, stupid corporation tell you. That’s the downside. The upside, of course, is the money. You took the money. What part of this do you not understand?

But oh, I hear you say, in our case the big, stupid corporation promised us that we would remain independent. We’d get to keep our “swagger,” and our “Fuck you” attitude. Two things:

1. Get over yourselves.

2. This will come as as a surprise to you, but big, stupid corporations lie. It’s what they do. They say things they don’t mean. They do this all the time. They also sometimes say things one day and really mean them, but down the road they don’t feel the same way and so they say something else.

You guys write about business, right? You’re maybe aware of this phenomenon?

33 Comments

  1. I always enjoy your column but for some reason I enjoy it significantly less when it’s about me.

  2. A lot of truth there.

  3. Well played!

  4. I always enjoy enjoy hearing drunk Walt Mosspuppet trying to say “Arrington”

  5. I didn’t take any money from anyone.

  6. Who are you??

  7. Best.post.ever on the melodrama also known as TechCrunch. My advice to TechCrunch employees: take the money and buy your freedom. Now. Quit caring about fame and get on with your lives. The biggest fuck you is waking up every morning and doing what you love. S

  8. Best.post.ever on the melodrama also known as TechCrunch. My advice to TechCrunch employees: take the money and buy your freedom. Now. Quit caring about fame and get on with your lives. The biggest fuck you is waking up every morning and doing what you love.

  9. Hanging is way too labor-intensive. Just slip on the black Nikes, the purple robes, and drink the Kool-Aid. Like they do at Apple……right?

  10. This is why I continue to heart you.

  11. Hanging- too labor intensive. Drink the Kool-Aid & slip on the Nikes and purple robes. Like the Kool-Aid Apple fans drink- right?

  12. well, I’ve tried posting 2x and neither show.

    swell.

    namaste and all that.

    • Sorry, i was away and not moderating comments frequently enough. Thanks for commenting.

  13. Shame youre not an editor… anywhere.

  14. amen. as i said over at the reddit for TWiT’s tech news today, it was about freakin’ time. arrington long ago lost all credibility for that tech organ and how he encourages his staff to ‘source’ (not so much), especially with that ridiculous non-news piece of link-baiting twaddle he posted last year about allegedly “stumbling in” to a big VC/Finance-Angel confab where he heard rumors of (horrors!) price fixing. that turned out to be a load of hogwash. him and all his cronies over there who think they’re actual journos — they make the gawker network seem like bbc news — should just try not let the door slam them on the butt on the way out.

  15. Guess the big J angle just isn’t present here. Didn’t the big stupid corporation buy more than an audience? Didn’t they buy a journalism property? Real question is what’s in the contract; over what term was independence promised; and was that encoded. Michael? Might be a good time to share that. Also in the honesty box, you / your teams non-compete restrictions – less your emerging “start a new blog” fan spinners (plus one) feel slighted.

  16. I know that every time I get into my car and drive between home and work, there is a chance that I’ll be hit by a drunk driver and maimed or possibly killed. If that came to pass it would be little comfort to have someone tell me “Hey there are drunks out there, get over it.”

    Sure, the TechCrunch story is one that is easy to take cheap shots at, and yes, for some of us we knew that Michael trying to be both a commentator and a participant was very likely to end poorly. But here is the thing. I’ve been to the Disrupt conference at the Hackathon and I’ve mingled with some of the authors who write at TechCrunch, and I will say that they are passionate and invested.

    When something you are completely passionate about and thoroughly invested in starts to unravel it doesn’t feel ‘good’ regardless of the reason. It hurts. I don’t think anyone you polled TC or AOL and asked if they thought this was the best way for AOL and TC to resolve their issues, would claim it was their first choice. And even if you hate their very existence, whether they scooped you on a story or gave some other affront, its really not very compassionate to make fun of them in this situation. It might even rise to the level of churlish.

    I don’t begrudge anyone their soap box on the Internet, its the great equalizer in that regard. But lets not wallow in the suffering of others. Four of five years from now it will be a great tale of living inside the tornado (to steal Geoff Moore’s analogy) but for now, its like watching people clean up after the Japanese tsunami.

  17. Funny thing: none of the TC staffers received money from the sale. Most of them knew nothing about said sale until just before it was announced – a few even found out AS it was announced. How, then, does this post make any sense?

  18. Love it – have been thinking this for several days, and it’s awesome to see it in print. The one thing I keep thinking is that people who think their swagger and “Je ne sais quoi” is their special sauce don’t have to actually spell it out – their actions should show it.

    If these guys are serious, simply stop writing for TechCrunch, quit, and start up another company to do it “their way”. All of their whinning is actually taking a lot of polish off what makes them great.

  19. We keep reading the words “editorial independence” tossed around like it’s a basic human right. Arrington took the money, and by doing so, gave up any independence he either assumed or was promised. Welcome to corporate America, TechCrunch…er AOL employees.

  20. so…i guess if you didn’t any money, you got fucked? that’s the other maxim about big companies — they fuck you.

  21. Atleast Michael stays congruent w/ the rogue nature of techcrunch even when Turner and Huffington controls him, that is kind of why I like to read Techcrunch.

  22. ah this isn’t a post and it shows deal. my bad!

  23. Usually what happens is that when a company is sold, the employees are lucky to keep their jobs. They don’t get to share in the spoils, and that’s the sucky part. I’m sure MG didn’t get a pot of money, and neither did anyone else.

    But now the air is poisoned around the TC employees, and they are the ones suffering. Mike got the money. Not a judgment, just an observation.

  24. normal michael – but the man is spot on…..

  25. We keep reading the words “editorial independence” tossed around like it’s a basic human right.

    I think it is a Right – I just see it as my right, not Techcrunchs’

    I may still put the right to clean water higher, but now we’re splitting hairs

  26. Kara….

    Im so glad I follow you on twitter. :)

  27. That just makes you even *more* stupid.

  28. In that case, how does the loyalty of the staff to Michael Arrington, who sold TechCrunch to AOL, make any sense?

  29. It all makes perfect sense. If you’re knowledgable in the slightest about the kind of selfish ingrate Mike Arrington can be, the you’d understand with total clarity how he could foolishly screw himself out of his own company by entertaining visions of total freedom combined with a Scrooge McDuck-ish rolling-around-in-other-people’s-money scenario. It never happens and a person with a functioning sense of how reality works would’ve understood this.

  30. The corporation is the least of its worries.

    Worse is how his editorial independence is scrambled, because he also funds tech startnups.

    Conflict of interest.

  31. If it’s any comfort, and it probably isn’t, Ted Turner felt the same way after selling CNN. So buy land, bison, and a baseball team and maybe you’ll feel better.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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