Fake Steve also has not had a heart attack. Just in case you're wondering.

Maybe you’ve heard about this already. CNN briefly ran a report this morning that Dear Leader suffered a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital. Katie Cotton says it’s not true. See the whole thing here. Apparently it was a citizen journalist site and it looks like they got punked. Or is it pwned? I can’t remember what the kids are saying these days. Suspicion is short-sellers doing this to tank the stock. Which they did. 

For the record, I want to assure everyone that Fake Steve also remains in super health, totally heart attack free. Though he did have a bad case of hives recently; apparently some kind of allergic reaction. He’s still on an island someplace, doing yoga and sleeping late. He sends his love.