See here. Tom Krazit says app developers are griping about Apple’s policies around the App Store. “No store for you!” is the rallying cry. Apparently people are upset because Apple wouldn’t allow an app called Podcaster which would let you download podcasts directly and sidestep iTunes. Now the developers are whining that Apple puts them in a tough spot because they have to invest in developing apps without knowing whether Apple will allow them into the store. As Krazy Tom puts it: “Apple is giving developers a choice: they can take the risk of guessing whether their application will pass muster, or they can steer clear of developing any application that might infringe on Apple’s current or future plans; without knowing what those might be, of course.”
Let me channel FSJ for a moment and say this: What the heck is wrong with that? Yes, we’re putting Apple ahead of everyone else. Yes, we’re doing what’s best for Apple. And what’s best for Apple is best for you. So sit back and relax, people. Insert your earbuds, put your blindfolds back on, and put your feet back up. We’re taking care of things for you.
or they can contact apple dev relations before going through all the dev effort and ask if they’ll be soup-nazie’d or allowed to pass…
doesn’t make what apple did right, just makes the podcaster devs seem a little stoopid for not checking prior to coding however many manhours worth…
Daaaaan, you are boring me again…Seriously this Apple shtick is so over.
But who doesn’t love that episode? It’s great. And the soup is really, really good.
- Barry
Wow Danny, another post of who cares.
Hmm, the soup nazi, ok, maybe pull another archaic and ancient reference from the past in a post on a topic a dozen other sites already posted about.
Maybe it is time for you to just go away. You lost it buddy.
You haven’t lost the voice! Please revive the FSJ blog!
since when do people writing software – or shooting a movie, or making a CD, or developing a product – get upfront guarantees of distribution? or even creative guidelines to help them obtain distribution? apple devs = a nation of whiners.
@builder – Read the article again. Dan didn’t make the soup nazi reference, the douche Tom Krazit did.
Dan, I don’t know how you can deal with all these fucktards…
I went to the Toyota parts store yesterday. All they sold are Toyota-brand parts and accessories. They would not sell any parts or accessories made by any third parties. Damned car Nazis.
Anyone who thought Apple would do any different is living in lala land http://www.winextra.com/2008/09/14/its-apples-playground-so-quit-the-grumbling/
–I went to the Toyota parts store yesterday. All they sold are Toyota-brand parts and accessories. They would not sell any parts or accessories made by any third parties.–
Which of course totally misses the point because you can buy and install third party parts in your Toyota, but the only way to install third party apps that you don’t purchase from the App Store on your iPhone is to hack it.
No brains for you!
keep channeling FSJ — it’s hot.
In other news, Apple is banning Adobe Photoshop, since it duplicates some functions in iPhoto and Aperture, Apple’s own photo applications. Photoshop will be disabled via a previously undisclosed “kill switch” in Leopard, the latest version of the Mac operating system, OS X.
Bill Gates, convicted monopolist, was asked for his reaction and said, “If we pulled half the crap Apple does, we’d be in court for the rest of our lives. It’s like high school: the cool kids get away with murder and the dweebs get punished for the slightest infraction.”
Great point missing, everyone.
Apple has encouraged developers to write programs for the iPhone and iPod touch and provided some guidelines and rules. These are fairly straightforward in many ways, but are a matter of taste in others.
There is no prior review, “whatever.” You can’t ask Apple if they’ll approve an app you’re considering. I’m in the developer program. You have to submit a finished app.
Apple isn’t using any transparency in explaining either in advance, or in revising rules, as to what specific features that they would prohibit.
This makes it nearly impossible to be a developer unless you want to release another version of a program that’s already in the store. It’s pretty straightforward.
Dan, you’re totally off base in simply presenting a rehash of an FSJ reaction. The issue isn’t Apple being Apple: it’s Apple screwing up its evangelism. I’m focused on the fact that Apple is going to screw the pooch on getting interesting third-party applications written if they can veto anything for any reason outside their defined exclusions.
Even the stupid I Am Rich application should have been allowed. Dumb, yes, but users can ask for a refund.
Loved the FSJ channeling. I can also feel love for developers who will have to get in bed with PR and potentially HR at Apple. Yes, development for MS platform occassionally sucks, but at least I don’t have to ask Ballmer for permission to compile and distribute.
What is the deal with this thing called “jailbreaking”? Isn’t Apple’s thing called names line “freedom” and “choice”?
How about this (F)SJ? I sell you my app for 100 grand (or more, depending on how many flashy buttons I get into the app) and you do with it whatever your want. Keep 100% of the profits and non-distribute it if you want.
Don’t get me wrong. I admire the SJ but this App store thingy is beyond Balmerian.
Here’s the problem with the Toyota parts analogy: Toyota is selling Toyota parts in their own store. They are not selling someone else’s parts.
Apple runs the store, but they are selling other people’s software. They aren’t selling their own software.
This is stupid and old news. I read about it on probably ten other tech blogs in the last week. By the time you read about it on Wired, Dan, we not only know about it but are sick of it.
PLEASE revert to writing interesting and unique stuff. Then last ten posts you’re just rechewing the same cud everyone else is.
Who beat you to the punch? CNET, PC Magazine, Macworld, Marketwatch, SF Chronicle, Slashdot, Computerworld, Washington Post, GigaOm, Denver Post, Pittsburgh Post, Techdirt, PDA World, Ars Technica, CIO Insight, Mac Rumors, Pocket Gamer, Apple Insider, Silicon Alley Insider, Geek.com, Gizmodo, Valleywag, and 200 sites I never heard of.
only the dead can be channeled . . .
@ Andrew Carnegie
> Bill Gates, convicted monopolist, was asked for his
> reaction and said, “If we pulled half the crap Apple
> does, we’d be in court for the rest of our lives. It’s
> like high school: the cool kids get away with murder
> and the dweebs get punished for the slightest
> infraction.”
If Apple controlled over 90% of the smart phone market, (as MS Windows dominates the PC OS market), the comparison would be valid, as would his complaint. Bill just can’t accept that monopolists must be held to a higher standard of behavior in order to prevent them from eliminating all competition whatsoever.
“Some developers demand Apple try to communicate better, lest they assume the worst of the platform vendor. While that sounds plenty reasonable at face value, given the curatorial demands on the fledgling state of the App Store platform and Apple’s overall reliance on product-plan secrecy, we shouldn’t realistically expect Apple to ‘open up’ anytime soon,” as I explain in:
Resolved: Apple is right to curate the App Store
http://counternotions.com/2008/09/15/app-store/
Umm, can you just go back to doing FSJ full time? I miss laughing like I just did when I read the FSJ channeling part.
kthx.
We want more channeling! We want 128-bit channeling!
We want FSJ chanelling.
You can also channel that pepsi guy who sat in a benz slouched over a steering wheel that one time hahahaha
@vaporland: FSJ is a fictional character, a voice. Like Ana Karenina or Raskolnikov. Get it?
I wouldn’t fret. It sounds like Apple is just trying to get developers interested in the Android platform. More power to them!
Cheers,
-danny
Brett, you don’t need dominant market share to engage in behavior that’s blatantly anticompetitive. It’s about time Apple got some serious sh*t for its control freakiness.
We definitely need Fake Steve Jobs back. Because bashing Apple when you are not FSJ is not even funny.
“Now the developers are whining that Apple puts them in a tough spot because they have to invest in developing apps without knowing whether Apple will allow them into the store.”
Here’s a tip: if you plan to sell it on the App Store, don’t bother to develop apps that will directly compete with and replace Apple’s own software.
Apple is always friggin’ Nazis. Everything they roll out is controlled by them. And, everything is locked up.
Dan, I really think u lost ur edge after stopping FSJ blog. It was my fav. Oh welll….
Boy… this reminds me of that Family Guy episode where the FCC censors everyday life. Apple is that kinda FCC.
Wow, that FSJ impression was uncanny.
@ Andrew Carnegie
“you don’t need dominant market share to engage in behavior that’s blatantly anticompetitive. It’s about time Apple got some serious sh*t for its control freakiness.”
Apple certainly is undergoing controversy over some of its policies. But whether apple’s alleged offenses actually merit legal action is subject to debate. Its hard to claim that a company with a small percentage of the market is somehow strangling competition.
Any users or developers who are unhappy with Apple’s policies have plenty of other options. That is the very definition of a competitive marketplace
My original comment stands.
Brett, what’s Apple’s market share for podcast software for iPhone? 99.9997%? That’s the market share number that’s relevant in this case, not Mac market share or iPhone share.
Apple has never played fair with 3rd party developers on Macs and it’s ten times worse on iPhone. Ultimately, they’re screwing themselves as they always do.
…and to my original joke: What if Apple pulled the plug on Photoshop and said it was because it duplicated functions in iPhoto and Aperture? Would the Mac’s 10% market share keep them out of court?
Andrew, There is no law that I know of that requires the developer of a particular device to sell or otherwise support any and all add-on software that others may develop. As much as some wishful thinkers would like to view the iPhone as a general purpose pocket computer, the Mac and the iPhone follow two different business models. It is (or at least should be) understood up front by both users and developers that the iPhone is NOT an open platform. If people can’t accept that, they are free to ignore the iPhone and move to a competing smart phone. No monopoly here.
To address your question: If Apple had initially set the Mac up as a similarly closed platform (one where it was understood that Apple was the gatekeeper for applications), then perhaps they could in fact get away with disallowing an app like Photoshop on the Mac — Especially as Photoshop would still be available on over 90% of competing (MSWindows) computers.
Andrew, If you think Apple’s restrictive policies are “screwing themselves”, then let the competitive market punish them. If users find the iPhone software selection inadequate compared with that of competing smart phones, the situation will take care of itself. There is no need for lawsuits.
Dan Dilger on Roughly Drafted says it better than I can:
http://www.roughlydrafted.com/2008/09/18/the-iphone-monopoly-myth/
Apple considers itself as a front-runner in high tech. They are so self-interest that they don’t have to care about others’ thoughts.
You want FSJ? THREE dollars!
…
No updates for you!
Dan-
Let me explain to you why FSJ is over, and why you are not doing well. When nobody knew who FSJ was, the postings were over the top enough to be funny, and people enjoyed it. However, once you got outed, people started digging up your other articles. FSJ really stopped being funny for most people when they say your anti-blogging hit piece, or many of the other things you have written that are nothing more than bitter ignorance from someone who reports on tech because he has no skills in tech. At least, thats how you come off. You make Dvorak seem like a reasonable, open-minded guy.
FSJ worked when you were anonymous, but Dan Lyons is an apple basher, and now a lot of what you said as FSJ in retrospect seems really bitter and hateful– its just that you were anonymous then so people took it in good fun.
Your dishonesty about steve’s health and your glee at bashing apple- the facts be damned- since FSJ – has pretty much buried any chance of being considered funny when you comment on apple.
That’s my opinion, but I’ve heard a lot of rumblings from others along the same lines. Its time for you to move on… you burned out the audiences interest in anything you have to say about Apple.
@Joe: As a disgruntled Dan-O reader, I agree with you but I think you missed an important point. FSJ is a parody. Take a look at the piece about buying a van for example and arriving in a McLaren Mercedes at the dealership (or call Hassan directly LOL). FSJ’s voice is funny because of brutal exaggeration of self-absorbed and essentially egotistic character. Apple is all about freedom, I know, but a jailbroken iPhone? Why did we have to rescue that princess?
Personally, I wish Woz was still part of Apple and doing all hardware designs. This is what made apple really exciting – a hardware genius who works in the shadows and makes the best computer in the world.
My quip here is that Dan-O approaches the new *real Dan* blog like an essay from a subject he would like to avoid. I don’t know what happened. Some people change jobs and next thing you know they can’t get anything done. They just stare at surroundings and avoid the keyboard. I really don’t know.
Dan-O can be funny but he kinda hates to do it I think. If I had to pay subscription for this blog, I’d hat to cancel it immediately.
Is it me of is Dan-O only actually “writing” anything (of value or not) about once a week? Everything else is just a blurb and a link to someone else’s work or a lame video. There is very little entertainment value to this blog anymore….. Dan, go back to doing a FSJ blog…you showed far more wit and insight there than anything your bothering yourself to write here.
This is remeniscent of when I used to watch soap operas. I only had to watch them once a month to get all caught up on what transpired.
@Joe — I agree 100%
@SamG IMHO — RDL is only funny as FSJ
Hey, I can breathe and stand up on my own again. No more summers in mice-infested poop jungles.
I’m gonna’ checkout the Newstweaks columns and decide which is more entertaining. This blog … getting weaker.
I’m pitching a screenplay about a guy who writes a blog and gets possessed by an evil spirit who happens to be the head of a tech company. While possessed this guy is really funny, has lots to say and is really interesting. Some times you can’t shut him up. Then there is an exorcism and the guy is pretty boring when he bothers to write at all. I see it as a tragic comedy. Maybe on cable in between Stewart and the Colbert show.
Dan-O, it looks like you cannot make fun of Sergey (Brin, no less) anymore because he announced his gene mutation here http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/19/technology/19google.html?
_r=1&oref=slogin
Now that his DNA is open source (or will be soon), now what? Should we line up at amazon and load up on Molecular Genetics textbooks or start doing some protein folding to help out in the effort?
I think Seinfeld started all this. First, you take something meaningless and make it into a show. People keep watching, in anticipation when it will start making sense. Before you know it, you are selling commercials because millions are stunned by the lack of content. But, you are selling commercials and business is good. Then you buy a bunch of Porsches and you are done.
FSJ as a voice, IMHO, has nothing to do with Jobso personally. Jobso is an icon who represents all self-absorbed egomaniacs who are obsessed with their mission to change the world, in one way or another. FSJ could be Kim Jong Il, Jobso, BillG, even Seinfeld. Maybe even late Gary Kildall. Not Jef Raskin – he was the only normal guy in the Valley with a brain that could carry them all.
In the light of this discovery, it makes no sense to abandon FSJ because of Jobso or what is going on with Jobso.
Back to MS (and I don’t mean the disease). They show an utter lack in imagination of any sort. If Fedex can make a commercial (a boring logistics company) that makes us laugh, delivers to the point and does not take half an hour to watch, I think MS is getting a shitty deal from their marketing shenanigans. MS dug a hole for itself with IE, it slow performance, its security issues and its shitty attitude towards HTML standards. It is like Ballmer, but in software. It tries to mob people. You see how personality trickles down into products? Who would want to get into Ballmer’s head? Brrrr.
No, we want the FSJ voice, the voice of the unheard millions, the voice of freedom. The voice that makes people spend on shiny products while Treasury Dept. is installing socialism in America. Products are that good. Nobody will notice how and when socialism installed itself. Kind of like a Trojan and IE. They have the API for each other.
Ok, this was a bit overboard, but the Treasury bit is real. Dust off Lenin and re-read FSJ blog.
@Keith Kruger: I have noticed the weekly pattern myself. I think Dan-O is going through a FSJ wihdrawal. First, it is beyond me why would such a gifted writer abandon a unique delivery method on a blog. Second, it is beyond me why would someone start a blog about nothing. To become Seinfeld of Bloggers? With readers writing better comments than the blogger himself?
Meanwhile, I enjoy comments more than the posts on this blog. I don’t know if Schopenhauer, Nietzsche and Kant will ever come back to comment, but I certainly hope so.
Hi webmaster!
Dan:
I agree with most of the other poster; Real Dan is BORING. FSJ was great. A key to success in business is to listen to your customers and deliver something they want, that’s unique, and that they must have. RDL isn’t it! Bring back FSJ or find a new line of work.
“what’s best for Apple is best for you”
That’s like saying “what’s best for Microsoft is best for you”
Do you know how stupid that sounds?
thank you a lot
tnk
yes thanks …
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