Comments on: Bloomberg runs Dear Leader's obituary slightly ahead of schedule http://www.realdanlyons.com/blog/2008/08/28/bloomberg-runs-dear-leaders-obituary-slightly-ahead-of-schedule/ Namaste. Welcome to my site. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:31:47 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Steve Jobs, the obituary | Richard Hartley http://www.realdanlyons.com/blog/2008/08/28/bloomberg-runs-dear-leaders-obituary-slightly-ahead-of-schedule/#comment-83424 Steve Jobs, the obituary | Richard Hartley Wed, 05 Oct 2011 22:38:11 +0000 http://realdanlyons.wordpress.com/?p=286#comment-83424 [...] in June - after which his health became an issue that knocked millions off Apple's value.Lyons commentshow would Apple PR handle it? I suppose for a while they could just stonewall by saying they weren't [...] [...] in June – after which his health became an issue that knocked millions off Apple's value.Lyons commentshow would Apple PR handle it? I suppose for a while they could just stonewall by saying they weren't [...]

]]> By: çeçenistan http://www.realdanlyons.com/blog/2008/08/28/bloomberg-runs-dear-leaders-obituary-slightly-ahead-of-schedule/#comment-1461 çeçenistan Wed, 07 Jan 2009 17:31:56 +0000 http://realdanlyons.wordpress.com/?p=286#comment-1461 thank you a lot thank you a lot

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]]> By: Peter Njenga http://www.realdanlyons.com/blog/2008/08/28/bloomberg-runs-dear-leaders-obituary-slightly-ahead-of-schedule/#comment-1460 Peter Njenga Sun, 07 Sep 2008 13:45:26 +0000 http://realdanlyons.wordpress.com/?p=286#comment-1460 FSJ, you need to get back to writing as Fake Steve Jobs. FSJ, you need to get back to writing as Fake Steve Jobs.

]]> By: Bill http://www.realdanlyons.com/blog/2008/08/28/bloomberg-runs-dear-leaders-obituary-slightly-ahead-of-schedule/#comment-1459 Bill Wed, 03 Sep 2008 15:21:23 +0000 http://realdanlyons.wordpress.com/?p=286#comment-1459 “Well it’s a weird situation. I can’t really get into this but people close to him have been saying for quite a while (before the appearance onstage) that he’s really sick. And someone who saw him last week says he still looks like (expletive)”. “Anyway, I’m starting at Newsweek tomorrow and Fake Steve was supposed to be part of my job. So we’re going to discuss whether to revive the blog”. Hey, Dan. Tell me how these two sentences go together without you coming off as some sort of pathetic weasel. You're going around spreading how sick he is, but then you want to restart the FSJ blog? If he is that sick, as you maintain, what will the satire be based on, Dan? You making fun of someone chronically ill? There is seriously something wrong with you. “Well it’s a weird situation. I can’t really get into this but people close to him have been saying for quite a while (before the appearance onstage) that he’s really sick. And someone who saw him last week says he still looks like (expletive)”.

“Anyway, I’m starting at Newsweek tomorrow and Fake Steve was supposed to be part of my job. So we’re going to discuss whether to revive the blog”.

Hey, Dan. Tell me how these two sentences go together without you coming off as some sort of pathetic weasel. You’re going around spreading how sick he is, but then you want to restart the FSJ blog? If he is that sick, as you maintain, what will the satire be based on, Dan? You making fun of someone chronically ill? There is seriously something wrong with you.

]]> By: Eowyn http://www.realdanlyons.com/blog/2008/08/28/bloomberg-runs-dear-leaders-obituary-slightly-ahead-of-schedule/#comment-1458 Eowyn Sun, 31 Aug 2008 21:12:15 +0000 http://realdanlyons.wordpress.com/?p=286#comment-1458 Is it just me, or doesn't the photo of Steve Jobs make him *really* look like a cult leader? Emasciated, hair shorn like a monk, wearing an ascetic black "habit"? Is it just me, or doesn’t the photo of Steve Jobs make him *really* look like a cult leader? Emasciated, hair shorn like a monk, wearing an ascetic black “habit”?

]]> By: René http://www.realdanlyons.com/blog/2008/08/28/bloomberg-runs-dear-leaders-obituary-slightly-ahead-of-schedule/#comment-1457 René Sun, 31 Aug 2008 16:36:22 +0000 http://realdanlyons.wordpress.com/?p=286#comment-1457 These guys at Bloomberg probably just wanted to publish a much-needed obituary of Fake Steve. Someone must have got confused. These guys at Bloomberg probably just wanted to publish a much-needed obituary of Fake Steve. Someone must have got confused.

]]> By: steveballmer http://www.realdanlyons.com/blog/2008/08/28/bloomberg-runs-dear-leaders-obituary-slightly-ahead-of-schedule/#comment-1456 steveballmer Sun, 31 Aug 2008 14:10:52 +0000 http://realdanlyons.wordpress.com/?p=286#comment-1456 I was extremely saddened on Friday morning to read in Bloomberg of the death of my good friend and worthy competitor Steven Malik Jobs. Steve was a unique person who did a half decent job of bringing Apple computer (which he started) back from obscurity to near obscurity. I always knew this moment would come, but somehow I am surprised but my reaction: depression. It's hard to explain, not having Jobs around. It's like that corn I had on my pinkie toe, it hurt, it was hard, I used to soak it every evening, I'd scrape it, pick at it, yet it still hung on! One day after it healed, I realised I missed it. I will miss picking on Jobs, he gave me something to do in the afternoon. Seriously; I will miss Steve. I am not evil I was extremely saddened on Friday morning to read in Bloomberg of the death of my good friend and worthy competitor Steven Malik Jobs.

Steve was a unique person who did a half decent job of bringing Apple computer (which he started) back from obscurity to near obscurity. I always knew this moment would come, but somehow I am surprised but my reaction: depression.
It’s hard to explain, not having Jobs around. It’s like that corn I had on my pinkie toe, it hurt, it was hard, I used to soak it every evening, I’d scrape it, pick at it, yet it still hung on! One day after it healed, I realised I missed it.
I will miss picking on Jobs, he gave me something to do in the afternoon.

Seriously; I will miss Steve.

I am not evil

]]> By: faddah http://www.realdanlyons.com/blog/2008/08/28/bloomberg-runs-dear-leaders-obituary-slightly-ahead-of-schedule/#comment-1455 faddah Sat, 30 Aug 2008 15:56:21 +0000 http://realdanlyons.wordpress.com/?p=286#comment-1455 ach! as al franken (as old al) would say: <i>those bastahdz!!</i> sitting like vultures waiting for the other pancreas to drop. why i oughta moi-der-ize 'em, i say! poor RSJ. he just wants to make beautiful, shiny gadgets in the jobs pod and go all <i>gandhi-esque</i> on us. after all, i diet of smart water, bits of watercress and the occasional indulgent slice of rare asian pear flown in from japan and only whilst in season and freshly picked can't put much meat on yer bones. true artists just aren't outback steakhouse kinda guys, you fat-ass americans. why did only 84,000 people see Barry give his acceptance speech at denver's invesco field? because if americans were the actual size of normal humans in the rest of the world, they could've fit 125,000 in there, easy. put down the bag of doritos™ and step away slowly ... ach! as al franken (as old al) would say: those bastahdz!!

sitting like vultures waiting for the other pancreas to drop. why i oughta moi-der-ize ‘em, i say! poor RSJ. he just wants to make beautiful, shiny gadgets in the jobs pod and go all gandhi-esque on us. after all, i diet of smart water, bits of watercress and the occasional indulgent slice of rare asian pear flown in from japan and only whilst in season and freshly picked can’t put much meat on yer bones. true artists just aren’t outback steakhouse kinda guys, you fat-ass americans.

why did only 84,000 people see Barry give his acceptance speech at denver’s invesco field? because if americans were the actual size of normal humans in the rest of the world, they could’ve fit 125,000 in there, easy.

put down the bag of doritos™ and step away slowly …

]]> By: Steve Jobs Not Dead! (But Might Kill Bloomberg News…) | HOT SEXY AND PRODUCT REVIEWS http://www.realdanlyons.com/blog/2008/08/28/bloomberg-runs-dear-leaders-obituary-slightly-ahead-of-schedule/#comment-1454 Steve Jobs Not Dead! (But Might Kill Bloomberg News…) | HOT SEXY AND PRODUCT REVIEWS Sat, 30 Aug 2008 15:36:37 +0000 http://realdanlyons.wordpress.com/?p=286#comment-1454 [...] Real Dan (the artist formerly known as Fake Steve), offers perhaps a more appropriate take on both the incident and its reporting: Luckily, Gawker decided to humiliate Bloomberg by publishing the entire obit, including the list of people that Bloombots should call if/when Dear Leader actually does die, which I’m still not sure he ever will, because as far as I can recall from all that Greek and Latin I took in high school a man-god born of Zeus and mortal woman should be an immortal being, and furthermore, how would Apple PR handle it? I suppose for a while they could just stonewall by saying they weren’t here today to talk about Steve, they were here to talk about how excited everyone is about [FILL IN NAME OF NEW PRODUCT HERE] and maybe they could buy themselves a year or two during which the Apple faithful would continue to believe Steve was really alive despite having seen reports to the contrary on the news. [...] [...] Real Dan (the artist formerly known as Fake Steve), offers perhaps a more appropriate take on both the incident and its reporting: Luckily, Gawker decided to humiliate Bloomberg by publishing the entire obit, including the list of people that Bloombots should call if/when Dear Leader actually does die, which I’m still not sure he ever will, because as far as I can recall from all that Greek and Latin I took in high school a man-god born of Zeus and mortal woman should be an immortal being, and furthermore, how would Apple PR handle it? I suppose for a while they could just stonewall by saying they weren’t here today to talk about Steve, they were here to talk about how excited everyone is about [FILL IN NAME OF NEW PRODUCT HERE] and maybe they could buy themselves a year or two during which the Apple faithful would continue to believe Steve was really alive despite having seen reports to the contrary on the news. [...]

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