You’ve probably read reports about some kind of fire at the Apple campus. In the finance department. Hmmm. Well I’m happy to say I’ve just received a phone call from an Apple spokesbot who told me, off the record, that in fact those reports were incorrect. “There was no fire,” the person said. I said, But what about the firefighters? The fire trucks? The smoke pouring out of the building? The footage we saw on TV? “There was no fire,” the spokesbot repeated. I asked how it could be that there was smoke, and firetrucks, if there was no fire. Answer: “There was no fire.” Well, anyway, I’m relieved to know that everything is fine.