Sergey Brin calls to non-comment on Cuil

Just picked up my office phone and it’s Sergey Brin, who says: “This is Sergey Brin. You think I’m a spoiled hypocritical billionaire who talks smack about energy conservation while commuting to strip bars in a jumbo jet, and I think you’re an argument for making abortion retroactive. Am I catching you at a bad time?” He goes on to say that he’s very upset about some of the coverage surrounding Cuil, this new search engine created by some former Google engineers that some people are suggesting could disrupt Google’s business. Sergey said he wanted to say some things about Google and he wanted me to print those things but he didn’t want to have anything attributed to him so he would only talk off the record and if I didn’t agree in ten seconds he was going to hang up the phone. I said fine. Now, clearly I cannot tell you what Sergey said, but nothing I heard from him contradicted reports printed elsewhere that Google does not view Cuil as a major threat at this time and does not agree with Cuil’s claim to have assembled a larger index of Web pages. Also, according to someone with very, very, very reliable insight into the thinking of Google’s top management, the founders of Cuil were not considered superstars when they were at Google and their departure was welcomed. Asked to comment on this last assertion, Sergey Brin declined to comment and angrily hung up the phone.

20 Responses to “Sergey Brin calls to non-comment on Cuil”

  1. Ryan

    I’ve gotta say, Dan, the new blog is pretty much what it would be like to read pure joy. Thank you for doing what you do.

  2. GTG

    Dan, I’m loving the new blog. But I think this topic peaked with the Woz entry. The horse is almost dead; you might want to stop beating it.

  3. Fake John Scully

    Man that guy has a big nose. Wish we had the photocrank application going.

  4. SamG

    Dan, before you hang up on this topic, let’s wait on a call from Bill Gates (or Ballmer) on their “up, up, up, baby” plan expressed in Financial Times with no-traffic search engine. While apple touches the PR bottom, Microsoft touches the “tech bottom” with billions sunk into their “search strategy.”

  5. Bill


    It kills me that you supposedly stopped the FSJ blog because you thought it would be in bad taste to continue it if Jobs was really sick, yet bizarrely you keep playing this broken conceit thinking your making music when you’re just making pathetic noise. Talk about a tin ear with no taste.

    Dan, Steve felt no desire nor obligation to discuss how many times a day he vomits and has diarrhea as a side-effect of the Whipple procedure he underwent to cut out his cancer, a major procedure that involves in part surgically rearranging his internal organs. The press kept after him for two months in manufactured “story” after manufactured “story” endlessly speculating that he was dying based on nothing more than him appearing 15 pounds below his normal weight. Now, they could have interviewed doctors who could have said that this was a consistent if not desirable side-effect of the Whipple procedure, but they did not — they kept harping “Why won’t he tell us how frequently he vomits and has diarrhea — he owes us.”

    He owes this to the shareholders, too, right? Right. Just like all those silly privacy laws that went into effect a few years ago that protect employees from having their health records released to third parties like their employer. I’m sure if you developed a chronic health condition, you’d feel obligated to share the amount of times you were having diarrhea with your employer, right? I mean, your an asset to your employer the way Jobs is an asset to the AAPL shareholders. It would be “bullshit” if you didn’t log how many times you vomited a day and present that to your employer. What’s that you say? That’s your own private business? Oh.

    So Steve calls one of the worst of the bunch, someone really fanning this fabricated flame, to confirm that he is not hiding anything dire by not talking, but is merely safeguarding his right not to have to discuss an embarrassing and distasteful chronic condition that he lives with but may soon resolve with still more surgery, and somehow this is grist for the satire mill? How?

    Yeah, Jobs mouthed off, but isn’t it interesting that the reporter felt _so_ obligated to quote his mouth-off accurately word for word in the story. No ulterior motives there, right? Certainly doesn’t suggest that he may be as scummy as Jobs accused him of being, right?

    Dan, the voice isn’t working. You’re still trying to use the character of FSJ now as you. The gravitas isn’t there to pull it off. Even the Wizard in the Wizard of Oz gave it up the booming persona when he was unmasked by Dorothy – because even he wasn’t that delusional.

  6. FBO

    So what’s Cuil supposed to do? I googled “Real Dan” and found this blog. I do the same thing in Cuil, and I can’t figure out what it’s giving me. Utter crap.

  7. Larry Page

    @Fake John Scully;

    Man, you’re right. He DOES have a big nose. Never noticed it before.

  8. colin


    I think you’re wrong. That’s my opinion. I am happy to read Dan’s work and I will continue to for as long as Dan writes it.

    If you don’t like it, exit stage left and don’t come back.

  9. RS

    yes… dans doing what he does best… and he does it pretty darn awesome. the voice still works… but worked best when we called it FSJ.
    Dan, thanks for the laughs… i hope RDL will fill the gaping hole FSJ left when you abandoned him.

  10. Total Dork

    Great post. We all need a little humor (at the expense of others) in our day…

  11. Sue W

    Well…cuil is lame and pretty broken right now. Who knows? Remains to be proven if this will ever amount to anything.
    Possibly worth checking back once in a while.

  12. JSG

    Cuil failed as soon as they picked the stupid name.

    The rest is just waiting around for the other shoe to drop. It’s too bad they aren’t publicly traded- I’d start short selling right now.

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