Kara Swisher of AllThingsD wonders who will replace Kevin Johnson as head of online stuff at the Borg. She’s got a list of about a hundred people. That’s a famous Wall Street Journal technique — when in doubt, guess as many people as possible, thereby increasing your odds of getting it right once the company does announce a winner. (Though I’m not sure you can call whoever gets to run the Borg’s online division a “winner.”) One name Kara doesn’t mention, much to his chagrin, I’m sure, is Robert Scoble (right). My sources deep inside the Borg report numerous phone calls from Scoble trying to set up lunches and pretending to be just calling to say hi and check in and see how everyone’s doing in the wake of the big news. A couple of the people who were contacted were evil enough to bait Scoble into making the case for why he should replace Kevin Johnson. Boils down to the following:
* I’m a natural leader. Check out my Twitter and FriendFeed lists.
* Already know the location of key Microsoft campus locations, including cafeterias.
* Have a Nokia N95 and not afraid to use it.
* Recently visited Washington, D.C., our nation’s capital.
* Have I mentioned that I wrote a book?
* Active in my church.
* Look good naked.
Apparently a few of these Borgtards are trying to set up a round of fake interviews. Then they’ll call and tell him he’s got the job, so he’ll announce it on his blog. You can’t even begin to imagine how much people at Microsoft hate Scoble.
I scared to look at the link. Very, very scared. Like 3:00am scared.
Haha, Lotus. I mastered that slash key like it was nobody’s business. Booyah!
- Barry
WHAT CRAPPY PHOTOSHOP WORK!
Great to have you back Dan, and now that you are the “Real Dan” I find the satire even more humorous AND genuine. Much preferred than the schizophrenic posts from your various personalities.
- Tom
Funny. Nothing could be further from the truth, but that’s why it’s so funny!
I have to add my opinion that I enjoyed all of this stuff much more coming from Fake Steve. There’s a certain part of my consciousness that enjoys outrageousness when it’s coming from someone I would expect to be outrageous and offensive (Fake Steve). Now that it’s the same stuff coming from the perspective of a real person (journalist), it’s just not as funny. I’m sure people will critique this opinion and I’m not sure I’ve stated myself with all that much clarity, but bottom line is it’s just not as good now. I hope you’ll consider bringing Steve back, for I have the feeling Real Dan is not long for my RSS reader.
Dude,
seriously, you just **had** to do the link didn’t you?
I’m still sitting on the fence.
There seems to be less chance to get true laugh-out-loud moments – like the “Lunch with Fester”, and -many- others.
(I still laugh more at the memory of “Patrami, pastrami, pastrami…” than I do for “SIOOMA”, go figure…)
Also, a bit jarring to have my quest for humorous stories & comments interrupted by the reality of a “real” person’s blog entries… e.g. Dan asking what some great iPhone apps are.
That will probably be the toughest thing to adjust to: having the humor mixed with the serious. But, I willing to give it some time to settle-out.
At least no one can “out” Dan, this time.
Yes you are correct we all hate Scoble. In fact everyone who has met him or worked with him hates him.
The only people who love him are Robert and his legions of losers who follow his blather on twitter. Scoble is self centered and only cares about promoting himself. He has backstabbed all of his friends and coworkers.
I am ashamed to say he was once my friend.
you know, i never really knew anything about this scoble guy except that FSJ made fun of him. so i checked the bloglink to scobleizer, right there on the real dan storefront. and you know what? he really is a jackass!
are there really people who read this meandering mush? i mean, not for laughs?
On that note has anybody watched a Scobe video all the way thru?
Aside from that dreamy Natali DelConte, I got no use for the videobloggers. And she’s moved on from that anyhow…
No way in a million years did I ever think that link would really go where it did.
Well, Steve Ballmer runs Microsoft…so I say Scoble has an excellent shot at it!
tnk
great news