[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyKe8iJ9-Jo&hl=en&fs=1] This is sick and wrong. I give it two thumbs up.
Learn MoreJust picked up the phone here at the DanCave and it was Michael Dell. He goes, “This is Michael Dell. You think I’m the uninspiring leader of a has-been PC company that’s never created a single original product in its entire 24-year-history, and I think you’re a pus-filled fistula on the ass-crack of humanity. Got a minute to catch up?” Michael Dell went on to tell me that he has lost a great deal of weight lately and he was wondering if anyone had started any rumors about it and if so maybe I would like him to address those rumors in an entirely off-the-record conversation. I told him thanks but no thanks, because as far as I know nobody is wondering about his weight loss. He’s like, Really? Because it’s kind of a lot of weight. I mean it’s pretty significant. I could tell you how it happened but we’d have to be off the record. I said, You know, Michael, I appreciate the offer, but it’s okay, really. He goes, So you’re not going to write about it? You’re not going to be speculating on what happened to me and why I look so gaunt? Because what happened is, I cut out a lot of carbs and...
Learn MoreNo kidding. I’m working at home today and the home phone just rang and it was Tay Zonday, the Chocolate Rain guy, whose voice totally sounds exactly like it does on that video. He goes, “This is Tay Zonday. You think I’m a one-hit wonder with some kind of gland problem, and I think you’re a demented hack who needs to get his nuts cut out. Could you spare a few minutes to talk to me?” Tay went on to say that he was a big fan of Fake Steve and wanted to offer some advice about how to manage my career, but he would only do it off the record. I said fine, what the hell. Now I can’t tell you what Tay said but I can tell you that nothing I heard on this call in any way contradicted the advice given to me by others who have said that since Steve insists he isn’t sick that I should just go back to kicking him in the nuts satirizing him. Also, a person with intimate knowledge of Tay Zonday’s career has pointed out to me that Tay’s advice could be invaluable since Tay has managed to get on Carson Daly, Jon Stewart and Jimmy Kimmel, and he’s...
Learn More[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKXW1zAdmrs&hl=en&fs=1] If you’ve ever tried to give over-the-phone tech support to a parent, you’ll appreciate this. My version of this video would involve my dad calling up to tell me his POS Windows machine “can’t open that photo you sent me,” and me begging my dad, over and over and over again, to just please go out and buy a goddamn Mac already....
Learn MoreSee the CNET story about it here. They’re calling it Pensieve and it’s aimed at oldsters. I wonder what made them think of...
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